I'd like to think that throughout this semester, I've progressed as an artist (though as a cartoonist, I use that term lightly). And while I've established a certain style of my own, one that is recognizable by most of campus as mine, I still feel like I'm not as good as I could be. It might sound melodramatic, but I have a hard time shaking the idea that there are so many out there that are better than me. Sometimes, I accept that they are different but not necessarily better. I tell myself that I can do things they can't, and that I can contribute to the art community. Other times, I look at all the established and professional artists on DeviantArt, and just feel depressed. Don't get me wrong, I'm not fishing for pity compliments. I just wonder if I have what it takes to make my drawings a passion, or a living. Because if I can't do that, then I have no idea what I'll do next.

For the first time in a long while, I took an actual art class: Drawing I. I did this with the idea that I needed some professional guidance and that maybe I would gain an edge in my drawings. I was also playing around with the idea that I might minor in art, but the Asia trip quickly put that notion to bed. And now, from the view of the end of the semester, I can safely say that I have learned nothing of value. I realize that the course is an intro class, meant to cover the basics, but I still feel like I should have gotten something out of it. But, unfortunately, all I'm left with is the feeling that I've wasted a class slot and a bunch of drawings of naked ladies...

...I'll let you take whatever meaning you'd like from that last line.

At this point, I've developed a fairly sturdy style for myself and, as such, feel the need for something new. It's not that I don't particularly like what I draw now, but it feels like it needs more. I don't know.

It's my hope that my trip to Thailand next semester might put things in perspective. I've heard that studying abroad changes your insight on almost everything. So who knows? Maybe I'll be able to develop into the artist I think I want to be.

On the plus side, I've been able to draw some weird comics that no one seems to like but make me laugh.

For example: